Keeping in Touch: Thank you Steve Jobs!

Yesterday we witnessed our own small Christmas miracle when we video chatted (through FaceTime) with my husband's family in China.  Small potatoes?  Not to us.

We've tried to video chat with my mother-in-law and her family since before my son was born--three years--with no success. We've tried AOL, Skype, and AIM, Chinese computers and computers purchased in the United States, but each time faced a breakdown of technology, insurmountable user error, or just plain bad luck:  no internet connection.

Enter the iPad.  When my mother-in-law visited this year we gave her a refurbished iPad. To my surprise, she was sending email and chatting with her relatives in Germany via FaceTime within two hours of receiving the gift.  Soon after, she returned to China, and we tried to video chat, but could not connect due to a poor internet connection.  Sigh.

I thought all was lost until yesterday morning when we were able to connect for the first time with my mother-in-law, her sister, and her sister's family.  Yeah!  We had not seen many of these people for more than two years. Children had grown, and elders had aged.  We spoke Chinese and English, and laughed with each other.

I have big hopes for this little piece of technology in 2012. I hope that it will help my kids stay connected with their Nainai for as long as she stays in China, and that it will help them build relationships with their other Chinese family members who we only see every three years.  Little piece of technology...big hopes!

Merry Christmas!

(This is not a shameless promo for Apple or any of their products, but an honest-to-goodness story of how the iPad helped a family in the United States connect with their relatives in China on Christmas Day.)

Weekly Jiaozi Night

When life gets hectic--especially in these weeks leading up to Christmas, we are often forced to choose between cooking a meal or sitting down at the table to eat together. Some families turn to weekly pizza night as a solution, but our weekly “go to” when life gets busy is jiaozi (Chinese dumplings).

Jiaozi can be found in the freezer section of most Chinese grocers. I buy the Wei-chuan brand because they taste good, and because they have a seal (lower left corner) assuring they've been inspected by the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

   

Jiaozi are very affordable (I get mine for around $3.50 per bag), and they come in a many flavors:

  

Pork, scallops, and shrimp                 Pork and Chinese spinach

Chinese Celery and Shrimp               Pork, Leek, and Shrimp (my fav!)

Lotus Root and Chicken                    Green Onion and Beef

Leaf Mustard and Pork                      Seafood and Cilantro

According to Andrea from Viet World Kitchen, Wei-Chuan also makes a MSG-free brand, their Shandong Dumpling series (look for 山东 on the wrapper).  I haven’t seen this in the stores, but intend to keep my eyes open for it!

Jiaozi can be steamed, boiled, or pan-fried. 

Boiling Jiaozi

When boiling jiaozi, make sure to follow instructions on the package.  Jiaozi should come to a boil four times, and each time this happens, 1 cup of cold water must be added.

Here's how this works: after placing the frozen jiaozi into the boiling water, wait until the water begins to boil again.  Next, add one cup of cold water to the pot, and wait until the water comes to boil again.  Do this two more times.  When the water boils after the third cup of water is added, it’s time to take the jiaozi out.  You can dump the pot into a strainer (like pasta).  I use a slotted spoon to take the jiaozi out, because the noodle “skin” can be fragile.

Pan-frying Jiaozi

Turn burner to medium heat.  Cover the bottom of the pan with oil, and arrange the frozen jiaozi in the pan.  Add approximately 1/2 cup of water to the pan, and cover with a lid.  Cook until the water in the pan cooks off. Add around 1/3 cup water and cook for one minute.  This will keep the jiaozi from sticking to the pan when you remove them.

Next, dipping sauce!  Here is my all-time favorite recipe--a slightly spicy and sweet vinegar-based sauce.  Please alter and swap out ingredients according to taste.

Sweet, Spicy, and Sour Dipping Sauce

1 tbsp Chinkiang vinegar

¼ tsp Kadoya sesame oil

¼-1/2 tsp Guilin chili sauce

pinch of sugar

Serve with salted edamame (which can be bought in freezer section of stores like Whole Foods or Trader Joes) and enjoy!

These gifts=my love for you

One of many cultural (and family) traditions that I’ve struggled to understand over the years is the annual inundation of gifts every time my in-laws visit. This visit my kids were inundated with gifts twice: once when Nainai arrived and again when Yeye arrived.  For those of you who have not experienced this, let me give you the play-by-play. 

My mother and father-in-law bring two bags when they fly.  The smaller of the two contains their clothes for the week, while the larger bag is stuffed with gifts for my kids (their only grandkids). The first order of business when in my in-laws arrive--no matter how late--is the distributing of gifts (toys, school supplies, clothing for the next three years, shoes, underwear, socks, books, movies, CDs, and pretty much anything else you can imagine.) 

In the middle of the gift-distributing process and about the time our kids’ eyes were beginning to glaze over, my husband and I realized that we should confiscate and hide some of these gifts to use as Christmas gifts from Nainai and Yeye (since they probably hadn’t thought about Christmas yet).

Well, our plan caused great strife for both generations. My son saw my husband carry a load of toys upstairs, and then later re-traced dad’s steps to look for them.  My daughter saw everything, and later asked me why Yeye and Nainai hadn’t wrapped the gifts. And my in-laws were just plain mad that we prevented them from giving these gifts to their grandchildren right away.

Days later, the kids had forgotten about the gifts, and my in-laws had wrapped the confiscated items.  I felt only marginally pleased with our solution, feeling like--in attempt to keep our kids from becoming spoiled brats--we had offended some deep-seated belief about how Chinese grandparents were supposed to show their love for their grandchildren.

In Chinese culture, love is communicated in ways that I’m not used to, through gift giving, food, and scolding.  I’m trying hard to be understanding of this cultural difference, but my pragmatic Western self just wants to tell my in-laws to save their money, give their grandkids a hug, and tell them, “I love you” instead. My in-laws are learning how to hug, though, so I’m trying to learn how to be understanding of their need to give gifts.

May the gifts you give this season be filled with love!

Coming Together

Coming Together

The visit with my in-laws went better than I had hoped.  Each of my children spent quality time alone with each of their grandparents.  They played games, built train tracks, told stories, sang songs, and learned new Chinese words.  My father-in-law taught my daughter how to wrap spring rolls, and taught my son how to count to ten in Chinese.

  (Wrapping Spring Rolls)          

 

     

                                                (The finished product)

We also enjoyed “together time” through family outings to the zoo, roller skating rink, and art museum.  All in all, I felt like we experienced a real “coming together” during their ten-day visit.

Our time together, however, was not without mishaps and miscommunications.  There were minor kitchen disasters, sprained wrists, hurt feelings, and misunderstandings.  And honestly, at one point, I wondered how we were going to end this visit on a positive note.

Then, somehow, we pulled through.  The kids’ patience was renewed, and I found them having a dance party with Nainai. And when my in-laws were preparing to leave, my two-year-old son exclaimed indignantly, “But you can’t go!”

I learned from this visit that patience and grace will take you a long way in bicultural families.  When my father-in-law (unknowingly) ruined one of my serving dishes and dyed all of the baozi neon green, I smiled at my husband and said, “Well, it could have been worse.”  And when my mother-in-law insisted on going shopping for bedding for two hours on Black Friday (right before the doorbusters ended and the stores were swamped), I smiled and said, “Okay.”

I’m not trying to be the perfect daughter-in-law (believe me, it will never happen). It’s just that, after being in this family for ten years, I’m finally starting to understand that if I extend just a little more patience and understanding, it will go a long way in bringing us together as a family.  

I want to know, what activities or outings bring your family together?  When tensions rise and nerves start to fray, what brings you back to together?

Have a beautiful week!

A Stir-Fried Thanksgiving

For years I have thawed, prepared, and cooked a turkey, only to have it sit in the fridge along with the leftover stuffing and mashed potatoes until I throw it all out just before Christmas.  For this reason, I’ve decided against cooking a traditional Thanksgiving meal.

We will have a stir-fried Thanksgiving! My in-laws are in town, which means that we will have three qualified chefs in the kitchen (my mother-in-law, father-in-law, and husband). While they are arguing over which sauce or chopping technique to use, I will silently slip down to the basement, coffee mug in hand, to watch the Thanksgiving Day parades with my kids.

Will our Thanksgiving be the same without the aroma of roasting turkey wafting through the air?  No.  But when we sit down to eat, we will all enjoy the food, and I will be able to rest assured that all leftovers will eventually be consumed.

I will not, however, leave the traditional Thanksgiving feast entirely by the wayside. The women in the family will make a homemade apple pie, and I’ll whip up some other pumpkin type dessert (haven’t decided yet).  

Finally and most importantly, we will give thanks that we are able to share this meal and be together as a family at this moment in time. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

p.s. For some real stir-fried Thanksgiving recipes by Grace Young, check out this article from the New York Times:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/09/six-steps-to-a-thanksgiving-stir-fry/

Communicating with Nainai and Yeye

I told my daughter that Nainai and Yeye (her paternal grandma and grandpa) would be coming to visit in a little over a week, to which she responded, “Oh. That makes me a little bit happy and a little bit sad.” Unusual response, I thought. She explained that she enjoyed the gifts they lavished upon her (reserved for another blog post!), but refused to elaborate about the sad part.  She didn’t need to. I knew that she felt frustrated because Nainai and Yeye don’t always understand what she says. My in-laws likewise feel frustrated because their granddaughter can’t speak Chinese.

When my daughter was young, Yeye always spoke Chinese to her, even though she didn’t comprehend a word he said.  He has since realized that she doesn’t understand Chinese (although she's learning!), and speaks mostly English to her, throwing in a Chinese lesson whenever he can.  Nainai speaks English beautifully with my daughter almost all the time, but unfortunately there are still many miscommunications.

Where do we go from here? I was determined to find a way to encourage real communication between grandparent and grandchild that was both fun and (relatively) stress-free. Building on my daughter’s love of games and reading, we created an “idea box.”  The "idea box" is a box full of ideas of things she can play, do, and create with Nainai and Yeye.  They include things she can teach her grandparents and things they can teach her. I told my daughter to pick an idea out of the box whenever she wanted to play with Yeye or Nainai but didn’t know where to start.

Later, I found my daughter reading ideas from the box to her younger brother.  The prospect of interacting with Yeye and Nainai had turned from a chore into a game! I will report back on the success (or failure) of the box.  Til then, if you want to make your own "idea box," I've listed some basic instructions below.  Feel free to modify. I'd love to see what you come up with!

Make your own grandparent “idea box”:

1. With your child, brainstorm a list of things they would like to do with their grandparents. (This can include games, stories, or songs you’d like to teach them--or vice versa, artwork you can create together, songs or stories you want to share or hear, and food you want to cook together.)
2. Type or write these ideas down on strips of cardstock or other sturdy paper.
3. Place idea cards in a small and easily accessible basket.
4. Make sure to include some extra blank cards so new ideas can easily be added to the box.

Enjoy!

Halloween Memories

A week ago, I watched my six-year-old (the butterfly) lead my two-year-old (the frog) from house to house to collect candy. They worked as a team: the older child directing the younger, the younger using his chubby-faced charm to score some extra sweets, and the big sister gently reminding her brother to say “thank you.”  It was beautiful, and will surely be a good memory for many years to come.

It reminded me of another warm Halloween memory--from last year, when we introduced my husband’s aunt from China to this American holiday. Our house was the last stop on her whirlwind trip around the United States, and instead of showing her the top tourist sites in our hometown, we carved pumpkins, shopped for the perfect costume at a Halloween superstore, and took her trick-or-treating around our neighborhood.

Halloween is not celebrated in China, so mock graveyards in the front yard, jack-o-lanterns, and goofy costumes were all new concepts to her, but my husband’s 71-year-old aunt (who also wears high heels and totes designer handbags on a daily basis) dove into the festivities with joy.

She spent hours carving her pumpkin, employing skills undoubtedly gained from years as a plastic surgeon.  At the costume store, she carefully selected a fabulous witch costume, complete with a magenta silk hat and waistband.  And then she donned the costume with matching magenta lipstick and went trick-or-treating with us.

This year, as I reflect on these memories, I hope that my children and I receive Chinese cultural and family traditions with the same joy and eagerness my husband's aunt, our Dayima (below), showed us. 

Pumpkins! (Nangua)

It’s the time of year when pumpkins become the ubiquitous sign of autumn.  On our trip to a local pumpkin patch last weekend, my kids ran from pumpkin to pumpkin, examining the various shades, shapes, sizes, and textures.  

When it comes to fall cuisine, however, it is clear that our relationship with the pumpkin hasn’t branched far from pumpkin spice muffins--which are quite tasty and not to be underestimated! Since the pumpkin doesn’t play a major role in my in-law’s Shanghainese cuisine, I began searching the Web for regional cuisines in China that use nangua, or “pumpkin”.

In China, nangua refers to a specific variety of squash that is seedless and relatively large. The skin of a nangua can be green, orange, yellow, or grey, and it's peeled off when being prepared.  Click here for a picture of the Chinese variety of pumpkin by The Chinese Soup Lady.  

If you can’t get your hands on a Chinese nangua, do not fear! Here are two tantalizing dishes from Southern China that can be made from pumpkin varieties found in the United States.


Pumpkin Cakes (nangua bing) 

These savory cakes from Xiamen in Southern China use mashed pumpkin and rice flour as a base. Aromatics like Shitake mushrooms, dried shrimps, and scallions are stir-fried and added in, and then the cakes are delicately fried. Click here for beautiful pictures and recipe by Tiny Urban Kitchen.  

Stir-Fried Pumpkin (chao nangua) 
This simple Taiwanese dish is exactly what it sounds like, stir-fried Kabocha or Butternut squash with ginger, sugar, and a pinch of salt. 

Have fun cooking!

The Mid-Autumn Festival that could have been...

“Tomorrow is Mid-Autumn Festival (Zhongqiu Jie),” my husband announced.  “OK,” I thought, and then quickly forgot.

He brought home moon cakes from the Chinese store, and they set on the kitchen counter until five minutes before the kids’ bedtime when he suddenly remembered the lotus-bean treats. 

What followed next was a failed attempt to explain the holiday to our two kids through a badly translated and gory (no time for parental preview) Youtube video, and a brief moon cake taste-test (i.e. “You WILL try a bite of this!).  

“Surely there is a more enjoyable and educational way to celebrate this holiday,” my husband and I wondered as we sat on the couch after the kids had gone to bed. 

What could we have done differently to teach them about the story of Houyi and the moon goddess Chang'e? What could we have given them as a treat to celebrate and enjoy this holiday instead of the traditional lotus bean dessert, which their young palates have never really adjusted to?

After searching the web for fun and creative ways to celebrate with kids, I stumbled across Grace Lin’s beautiful book, Thanking the Moon, in which a Chinese American family heads out for a moonlight picnic, shares a mooncake and hot tea snack, and sends secret wishes up to the moon.

I’m not sure what our family life will look like one year from now, but I hope that when Mid-Autumn Festival rolls around (September 30, 2012!) we will be preparing for our own midnight picnic under the light of the moon.

Links:

History and traditions of the Mid-Autumn Festival: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-Autumn_Festival

All about the mooncake: http://www.familyculture.com/holidays/mooncake.htm

A traditional mooncake recipe for the adventurous baker: http://happyhomebaking.blogspot.com/2011/09/mid-autumn-fest.html

Grace Lin's book on the Mid-Autumn Festival: http://www.gracelin.com/content.php?page=thanking_moon

Shang Ke!

It's fall, which means that it's time to start looking for Chinese lessons for my six-year old.  Chinese-class hunting has become an annual ritual for our family ever since my daughter turned three.

"Chinese class?" many of our non-Chinese speaking friends incredulously ask.  "But don't you and your husband speak Chinese?"

"Yes," I usually explain.  "But my husband's native tongue is Shanghainese, a dialect of Mandarin that is like its completely own language."

I speak Mandarin, but it is my acquired tongue, so the Chinese that I teach my kids either has bad grammar or incorrect tones.  When my daughter was a baby, my husband would sometimes overhear me teaching her short phrases in Chinese.  His response:  "What are you trying to teach her to say?"
So I stuck with funny expressions and slang that were fun to use around the house (such as "stinky bottom" and "big head"), and hoped that she wouldn't repeat them to her grandparents on accident.

So back to Chinese lessons.  We tried sending L to the local Chinese school where she attended with other Chinese kids--those who had recently moved to the United States, biracial kids, and kids who had been adopted from China at birth.  That worked out okay until she turned five and the songs and games that she so loved...stopped. They were replaced with two hours of sitting in a chair and repeating Chinese words and phrases to her teacher, who often spoke in a loud monotone.

Next, we hired a teacher from China who was trained as a language instructor to give private lessons to my daughter and several other girls. The teacher brought the songs and games back, and my daughter began to love learning Chinese again. Sadly, our beloved teacher was not available this year so we started another search.

This year my girl will take private lessons with a native English speaker who is proficient in Chinese and dedicated to teaching young non-native speakers. My daughter is loving her classes so far.  Her teacher comes prepared with stickers, candy, and a panda puppet each week.  What little girl can resist these treats?

For now, my girl is excited to learn Chinese, and that is something to celebrate!

Cool Cucumber Salad

So it's the end of the summer, and if you're a home gardener, you might be wondering what to do with the fruit of your over-productive cucumber plant.  Here's a recipe, for a quick and refreshing "salad" that takes 5-10 minutes to make.  My kids love it, and hopefully yours will too!

(As a disclaimer, my Chinese relatives think it's funny that I count this as one of the Chinese dishes I can make. It's probably too simplistic to end up on any restaurant menu, yet we eat it all the time!)

1 medium-sized cucumber
1/2 teaspoon granule chicken stock (I use "Knorr" brand)
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil (I use "Kadoya" brand)

1.  Peel cucumber, cut off both ends, and slice in half--length-wise.
2.  Using a spoon, scrape the flesh from each half of the cucumber. It should look like this:

3.  Cut cucumbers in approximately 1/2 inch slices (Any shape is fine as long as the slices are not too thin.)
4.  Add granule chicken stock and stir until dissolved.
5.  Drizzle with sesame oil; stir until combined.
6.  Let stand 5-10 minutes, and then enjoy!

About

 “Rice and Pasta.” That’s what I tell people when they ask what we eat at home.  My husband grew up in Shanghai, China, where the men are known to be great cooks.  His Chinese dishes incorporate non-Chinese ingredients like pine nuts and zucchini, and his pasta dishes usually involve something stir-fried.  I grew up in Northern Michigan, skiing and playing euchre. While not a natural cook, I love eating good cooking and reading about food.  

The food we enjoy is a metaphor for how our family brings together American and Chinese cultures.  We speak English at home, but our family “lingo” includes a smattering of Chinese words.  Our kids (six and three) watch Thomas and Elmo, but love Chinese cartoon heroes like the Monkey King and Xi Yangyang.  We celebrate traditional American holiday like Christmas and New Years, as well as Chinese holidays like Lunar New Year and Mid-Autumn Festival.  

But bringing together two cultures in one family is not as easy as it sounds.  In fact, on some days, it seems nearly impossible.  I started this blog to share our inspirations, successes, and challenges as we live and learn cross-culturally.

About this blog

“Rice and Pasta.” That’s what I tell people when they ask what we eat at home.  My husband grew up in Shanghai, China, where the men are known to be great cooks.  His Chinese dishes incorporate non-Chinese ingredients like pine nuts and zucchini, and his pasta dishes usually involve something stir-fried. 

The food we enjoy is sort of a great metaphor for how our family brings together both cultures:  American and Chinese.  We speak English at home, but our family “lingo” includes a smattering of Chinese words.  Our kids watch Thomas and Elmo, but love Chinese cartoon heroes like the Monkey King.  We celebrate Christmas and New Years, and also Chinese holidays like Lunar New Year and Mid-Autumn Festival.  We incorporate a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and try not to worry too much about what we’re leaving out. 

But bringing together two cultures in one family is not as easy as it sounds.  In fact, some days it seems nearly impossible. So here is a blog about my family’s love for each other and for food (can’t leave this one out!) as we walk through life with one foot in American culture and the other in Chinese culture (and sometimes both feet in one or the other).