Communicating with Nainai and Yeye

I told my daughter that Nainai and Yeye (her paternal grandma and grandpa) would be coming to visit in a little over a week, to which she responded, “Oh. That makes me a little bit happy and a little bit sad.” Unusual response, I thought. She explained that she enjoyed the gifts they lavished upon her (reserved for another blog post!), but refused to elaborate about the sad part.  She didn’t need to. I knew that she felt frustrated because Nainai and Yeye don’t always understand what she says. My in-laws likewise feel frustrated because their granddaughter can’t speak Chinese.

When my daughter was young, Yeye always spoke Chinese to her, even though she didn’t comprehend a word he said.  He has since realized that she doesn’t understand Chinese (although she's learning!), and speaks mostly English to her, throwing in a Chinese lesson whenever he can.  Nainai speaks English beautifully with my daughter almost all the time, but unfortunately there are still many miscommunications.

Where do we go from here? I was determined to find a way to encourage real communication between grandparent and grandchild that was both fun and (relatively) stress-free. Building on my daughter’s love of games and reading, we created an “idea box.”  The "idea box" is a box full of ideas of things she can play, do, and create with Nainai and Yeye.  They include things she can teach her grandparents and things they can teach her. I told my daughter to pick an idea out of the box whenever she wanted to play with Yeye or Nainai but didn’t know where to start.

Later, I found my daughter reading ideas from the box to her younger brother.  The prospect of interacting with Yeye and Nainai had turned from a chore into a game! I will report back on the success (or failure) of the box.  Til then, if you want to make your own "idea box," I've listed some basic instructions below.  Feel free to modify. I'd love to see what you come up with!

Make your own grandparent “idea box”:

1. With your child, brainstorm a list of things they would like to do with their grandparents. (This can include games, stories, or songs you’d like to teach them--or vice versa, artwork you can create together, songs or stories you want to share or hear, and food you want to cook together.)
2. Type or write these ideas down on strips of cardstock or other sturdy paper.
3. Place idea cards in a small and easily accessible basket.
4. Make sure to include some extra blank cards so new ideas can easily be added to the box.

Enjoy!